240 hours

The most amazing thing happened today.

My CPAP told me that I had that thing on my face for 240 hours in the past 30 days. Exactly 240 hours. Two weeks ago, it was at 180 or so.

Granted, that doesn’t mean that I slept 8 hours a day.

It typically takes 30-60+ minutes to fall asleep. 3 days I had that thing on my face for under 4 hours. Several days, I slept for 12-14 hours, so I am all over the place.

Sometimes I fall asleep around midnight, sometimes 5 AM.

So, my sleep is still utter dog crap.

Some nights, I miraculously took nothing. I did briefly try CDB oil, derived from marijuana, not hemp. It worked very well for sleep, but it seemed to lower my seizure threshold as the occurrence of partial complex seizures massively increased, as did psychotic symptoms. It is insanely expensive since it is taxed so heavily in my state. It would cost $70 a month for 10mg a night.

Perhaps, I need to try a 1:1 CDB/THC mix? Seems risky for both seizures and psychosis, so I doubt I will try it. The goal is to improve all aspects of my pointless life. What good is getting enough sleep when I have a higher risk of seizures? Those stop my heart from beating, and oddly enough, that is not a good thing, even for me.

What works well enough and has worked for most of the past 6 months is something I have talked about before. Doxylamine(25 mg) and lavender pills, which is maybe 40 cents a night. Once in a while, I still need to take 10 mg of melatonin, but it is getting rarer.

I average between 1 and 5 apnea events per hour on any given night. Supposedly, failing to breathe 5 or fewer times per hour while asleep is normal. That seems a little scary, no?

So, with a machine to force me to breathe, I am actually normal. I still think the testing methodology was flawed, but I scored 19.9 apnea events per hour when I was first tested.

I guess improvement is a good thing.

On the plus side, I can feel my heart racing a lot while I drift off. I am not sure if it is real or not, but it feels like it. I choose to take that as a good sign.

Dreams and nightmares have normalized, with only the occasional terrible nightmares.

I should buy a notepad and keep a journal of all the weirdness that happens. I don’t know why I need to, but supposedly it can help somehow.

I don’t feel any better, no more energy when I was around 130 hours a month on the CPAP.

This is no cause to be happy, which I will not allow myself to ever be again.

But it shows that I am on the right track, and I just wanted to mark this day with a short post to remember this date and see how it goes going forward.

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