You can’t change the direction of the wind, you can, however, adjust your sails.
Don’t you hate it when things go awry and seemingly have nothing to do with your actions or non-actions? Me too. No memories of taking the wrong path, but here we are regardless.
Is there fault? Most I have talked to say no which seems wrong to me. Does it matter? I don’t know.
So, where to go from here? I don’t like here so I want to move. That is what this journal is about. I am a very private person and doing something like this is out of character and makes me extremely uncomfortable. I am publishing this for two reasons. First, the simple act of writing doesn’t seem to be enough to be helpful. Making it public makes me really think and organize my thoughts in ways I don’t when I write just for me. What I write may seem disorganized at times, but that is one of the things I am working on. Disorganized thoughts are part and parcel of psychiatric issues. Secondly, I have never improved myself while staying in my comfort zone.
This will not just be me simply whining about personal issues although there will be plenty of that. I will try to explore causes to find solutions. This is also an attempt to get me back working and writing code so there will be some of that as well. Just lots of random things, all with the express purpose of self-improvement and get my brain working a little better. If it is helpful to others, that is even better.